Jurassic World: Dominion Dominates Fandom Wikis - The Loop
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In a retro commercial, Patches met a kid named Timmy and told him the Five D's of Dodgeball. Now in the year 1993, Patches is a lot more gruff and over the top.
Patches is a foul-mouthed and encouraging coach.
- "This is Patches O' Houlihan saying take care of your balls, and they'll take care of you."
- "I love the smell of queef in the morning."
- "Queerbait! Go ahead!"
- "That's what this sack of wrenches is for."
- "If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."
- "Is it necessary to drink my own urine? No. But I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste!"
- "If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball."
- "Holy hell, son! You're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop!"
- "Where's your killer instinct, son!? You've got to get angry! You've got to get MEAN!! That's the only way you can play!"
- "Aim low, and will someone catch a goddamn ball!? It's like watching of bunch of retards trying to fuck a doorknob out there!"
- "Tomorrow, we're going to pecker slap those Globo Gym bastards!" (Last words)
- Played by Rip Torn and Hank Azaria (young).